Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Christmas Tree-son

Hey, you! Do you find "nature" problematically pagan? Do you doctor secular Christmas hymns to make them about religion? ("Chestnuts roasting on an open fire/Just like people do in Hell...") Is your living room lacking in crucifixion imagery?

Then have I found the tree for you.

The inventor calls it the CHRIST-mas tree. (Get it? Because the word "Christ" is in Christmas, but people say it like "Chris" because clearly they're on the wrong side of the war.) It can be yours for $400 -- pricey for a plastic tree, perhaps, but how else will you teach your kids about the first Christmas, when the disciples hung commemorative Ronald McDonald ornaments on the cross?

For the CHRIST-ian on a budget, they offer this reimagined holiday wreath for $60. Because circles? Also pagan.

1 comment:

Erin Snyder said...

Nah, you got it all wrong. The tree is clearly surrounding and absorbing the cross; in effect devouring it. See how the needles are wrapping around, ready to snap the cheap cross into twigs? It's subversive genius is what it is!

It's clearly a reference to how this ancient pagan holiday has incorporated the occasional Christian element over the years.

I've said it before, I'll say it again: I love Christmas!